When Everything Really Changed
by LilMusicalAuthor
Summary: a car accident plus a dead mother equals Lucas the orphan. what will happen to him? i know that its an overused topic and probably title but a well
1. Hello

**Author's Note: **My first shot at an angst fic. Tell me if you like it, tell me if you hate it. I was going to just do a one shot songfic, but as I was looking through my iTunes library, I found like fifty songs that seemed perfect for what I had in mind. Therefore, I decided to narrow it down (to the slim number of twenty-two) and go from there. So now I'm making a twenty-two (give or take a few. I'll probably end up changing the list of songs around) chapter songfic. Enjoy.

"_Hello" by Evanescence._

**Play ground school bell rings again,**

**Rain clouds come to play again**

It was never going to rain. The clouds had been hanging above them all day, yet, it just wouldn't come down. They need a downpour. Not the type of downpour that lasted a few minutes, and then passed on and was forgotten, only remembered by the wet hats on people's heads; no, what they needed was the type of downpour that lasted for hours, but, even after the clouds were dry, it still wasn't gone. One that still hung in the air long after the dark clouds were done crying.

**Has no one told you she's not breathing?**

**Hello**

**I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to,**

**Hello**

People all around said nothing about the lack of rain; they were too distracted by what they saw in front of them. A car. A car that had been thrown into another car. It wasn't just the sight of seeing one car practically on top of the other that had everybody in Tree Hill all worked up; it was the people. The people inside these two cars that suffered a horrible defeat. In one car, a man, a man who was not severely hurt; just a broken wrist and a few scratches. It wasn't he who was at fault for the crash, though. He was sitting at a stoplight when he had been hit from behind. He was usually the type of man who would make a spectacle of things; throwing a fit for having to suffer minor injuries at someone else's fault, but today, he too was too busy. Watching. He was watching the other people. The people in the other car. One, a sixteen year old boy. The other, a middle aged woman. The boy's mother. The boy sat on the curb, next to the car he was thrown from, bleeding, pushing anyone who came near him away. The paramedics tried to near him so they could see his injuries that, even from a far, looked severe. The woman had just been pulled out of the car. She had died on the spot. Nearest point of impact. The paramedics had done some to try to save her, but they all knew that it was too late. Everyone's current concern was the boy. He sat on the curb, not moving. He couldn't his eyes were glued to his mother, his thoughts to what had just happened. His mother was dead. Gone and never coming back. One of the only people he had ever had.

**If I smile and don't believe,**

**Soon I know I'll wake from this dream**

**Don't try to fix me I'm not broken,**

**Hello**

He was dreaming. He had to be. He couldn't be sitting here, drenched in blood, pushing away people who were trying to help him with his bleeding head. His mother couldn't be dead. She couldn't be. He didn't have anyone else. How could this happen to him? How come everything happened to him? He couldn't believe it. Someone else, a man who he had never seen before, tried to coax him into going over to an ambulance so he didn't catch pneumonia.

**I'm the lie living for you so you can hide,**

**Don't cry**

"I'm just trying to help you," said the man. "You need to come over to the ambulance. You need us to help you. Your mother is dead." He winced at the words. "There is nothing you can do. Everything will be okay." _Everything will be okay? You tell me that my mother is dead and there is nothing I can do about it, and then, you tell me that everything will be __**okay?**_ He didn't understand. Then he realized; nothing was ever going to be the same, yet, everybody was going to be telling him that it would be _okay. _It suddenly felt like a dirty word, only uttered by those who worked for the devil. How could they know that everything would be _okay_? Did they just loose their mothers to a car accident? _It's going to be okay… _The words rang in his head. It's all a lie. That one little sentence was the lie that was supposed to let him curl up in a little corner and hide for the rest of his life. Those five words were supposed to make him go on pretending that nothing had happened. The boy, who had been ignoring the man up until now, looked up at him, tears in his eyes.

**Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping,**

**Hello **

**I'm still here,**

**All that's left of yesterday**

_It wasn't all a dream_, he realized as he walked with the man to the nearest ambulance. _It was a nightmare. A nightmare that he would never wake up from. _He was trapped in his mind, with only his worst fears to show him that he was truly alone. All that was left of yesterday.


	2. Slipped Away

**Author's Note: **I'm so sorry that I haven't updated any of my fanfics in a while. (Now if you want to read the details, keep reading. If you could care less, skip over to the next an.) I'm actually only posting this one because I already had it written. Now I'd like to say that it was all because of the Christmas (yes I know I'm politically correct. And damn proud of it) but it's not all true. I am a person who has long term obsession short attention span. It is not a disease but I do have it. I made up the name but trust me; the name fits. I have this thing where I get obsessed over one thing (it varies from movies to music to games to writing and back to TV shows). My obsession lasts for between one day and about a few months. Then, I get bored with it and move on. But don't worry. I have not moved on from writing. I'm trying to get myself back into it and I promise I will post more soon.

**Author's Note 2: **I have decided that I am going to dedicate this whole story to Lisa, the love of my life. She knows why this is dedicated to her and there is a very good reason. Sweet just remember: every time you're sitting there, wanting to cry, I promise I'll cry with you.

**I miss you, miss you so bad  
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad  
I hope you can hear me  
I remember it clearly  
The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same**

She was gone. It was almost scary how just thinking about that day changed everything, practically threw him into the past, forcing him to relive it over and over again. He remembered Brooke asking him if he felt everything change when he had made the winning shot at a basketball game. Back then, he had no idea what she was talking about. The change. What _change? _He hadn't felt it then because that wasn't when everything changed. Eight days ago was when the real _change _had happened. Exactly eight days ago, his mother had died. That was truly when it all changed.

****

I didn't get around to kiss you  
Goodbye on the hand  
I wish that I could see you again  
I know that I can't  
I hope you can hear me,

**Cause I remember it clearly  
The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same**

He didn't get to say goodbye. That was one of the things that killed him the most. He couldn't force himself to look inside the casket during the wake, and now, as he walked alone down the streets with the unemptied rain clouds still overhead, he wished he had. He had Dave, his mother's best friend, and Jenna, his daughter and Luke's best friend, drop him off outside of the small café his mother had owned after promising him that he would be alright.

****

I had my wake up  
Won't you wake up  
I keep asking why  
And I can't take it  
It wasn't fake  
It happened, you passed by

He remembered thinking that it was all just a dream that he would soon wake up from. Now he knew that he wasn't sleeping. He was awake and was going to be considered physically healthy after his broken arm and cracked skull had healed which was more than he could say for his mother who, as of one hour and seventeen minutes ago, was buried six feet underground.

**  
Now your gone, now your gone  
There you go, there you go  
Somewhere I can't bring you back  
Now your gone, now your gone  
There you go, there you go,  
Somewhere your not coming back**

She was gone. She was never coming back. He wished he could go up to where she was, find her, and tell her to come back to him. He needed her. He didn't know how to function without her.

****

The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same no  
The day you slipped away  
Was the day that I found it won't be the same

I miss you

_I miss you, Mom, _he thought as he looked up into the full gray clouds, and for the first time in two months, he felt a drop of rain come down from the sky, as if it was his mother telling him the she missed him too.

**Author's Note 3 (last one. Promise): **this song is "Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne.


	3. Dedication: In Memory Of

Alright so I'm probably not going to write the next chapter for a little while because I think it would be a little difficult.

This fanfic is now made in the memory of Barbara Caponigri. Died Tuesday, January 3, 2006.

It is also in dedication to Lisa Caponigri. Her youngest daughter and one of my best friends who I will always be here for. (And don't tell me that I'm making you cry because I'm crying myself write now.

And for all you others out there who have a Karen-dies-fanfic, just be grateful that you aren't in the position that your character is in or even watching and trying to be there for them.

I love you forever and for always, Lisa.


	4. Cry

There was a funeral in town. She wasn't sure who it was for but she had heard the rumors. Lucas Scott's mother had died. She had never really talked to him before so she didn't know what kind of a guy he was, but she could guess. He would end up being just like every other guy that she had ever dated: dog-like and only after one thing. She was sick of it. He was probably spoiled and used to getting what he wanted because of his looks. If she really thought about it, he was probably the most attractive boy Brooke had ever seen. She didn't want to think anything positive about guys anymore so she usually didn't.

She decided to get some coffee. She walked sown the street to the small café that had the best coffee in town. The lady that owned it had always been so sweet and kind. As she approached the door, she saw that it was completely empty. She had never seen it _completely_ empty before. She didn't know why but she all of a sudden got a nervous feeling at the bottom of her stomach. She walked through the doors with caution and slowly walked to the counter. She looked around the room and saw something that immediately stuck out. A boy sitting alone in the corner. Not just a boy; he looked about her age but it was as though he felt smaller. Brooke looked for the reason why he caught her eye and then found it: he was dressed in all black. As she looked closer she discovered something else. It wasn't just a boy. It was Lucas Scott.

**I'll always remember   
It was late afternoon  
It lasted forever  
And ended so soon**

**You were all by yourself  
Staring up at a dark grey sky  
I was changed**

"Hey, aren't you Lucas Scott?" she asked trying to show as little interest as possible. She didn't know why she had a sudden interest in him. She knew that his mother had died yet she knew that he was probably going to be like every other guy in school. She just needed that little bit of something that took the _probably _out of the scenario.

"Yeah." His reply held no emotion. She had seen him around school since the beginning of high school when they were fourteen, but she had never heard him talk. Maybe he was one of those guys that pretended to be all moody. He obviously didn't care to elaborate so she decided to declare him moody and self centered and move on with her day.

"Do you know if Karen's around?" she asked when she still didn't come out from the back. He didn't answer for a few seconds which made her think that he had maybe slipped out while she wasn't looking. She turned to where he was sitting. He was hunched over, head hanging low. She didn't understand at first but then he gave the most depressed, heart-shattering look. He sort of gave a short, sad laugh and then finally wiped his face with his hands.

"No. No, she's not around." With that he got up and slowly walked outside. She watched him as he stood just beyond the door. He looked up at the sky that had been dark, cloudy, and rainless for weeks. It finally hit her. Everything fell into place. Karen wasn't at the diner. Lucas Scott's mom died. No one was at the café. As it all came together, Brooke's heart broke. That sweet lady, who always cared about each of her customers, was not only dead, but she was Lucas' mother.

****

In places no one will find  
All your feelings so deep inside 

**Was there that I realized  
That forever was in your eyes  
The moment I saw you cry **

She just couldn't stop staring at him. With each second that passed, her heart seemed to sink deeper and deeper. Just when she thought that it wasn't possible for her to feel any more depressed, she saw a tear stream down his cheek, sending her heart colliding with her stomach.

**  
It was late in September  
And I'd seen you before**

**You were always the cool one  
But I was never that sure**

She saw him around school a lot. Now that she thought about it, she had even had a few classes with him. Oh, who was she kidding? She had every period with him starting from first period English to eighth period biology. If she had seen him around so much, why hadn't she ever talked to him? That was the question that kept bugging her. She finally came to the conclusion that she was a horrible person. She hadn't talked to him because he wasn't popular. Maybe her punishment for being so awful was not talking to the one guy that might not treat her like dirt.

**  
I wanted to hold you  
I wanted to make it go away  
I wanted to know you  
I wanted to make your everything alright  
**

She just felt so horrible. No one should have to suffer the way he probably was. Two minutes ago she was trying to convince herself that he was just another guy. Now she had to keep herself from crying over the pain she had no logical way of knowing really existed. Six words. He said six words to her. She counted. Six words and she felt as if she was feeling everything that he was feeling.


	5. Yesterday

**Disclaimer: **I do not own this song. I do not own these characters. There. Happy people?

**Author's Note : **This song is "Yesterday" by The Beatles.

**Author's Note 2: **If there's anything wrong with the way I'm writing can someone tell me? I mean, I only have the grammar of a fourteen year old because, oh I don't know, I am only a fourteen year old. So if anyone could help me improve my story in any way, please let me know. Either e-mail me or just put it in a review. I don't care which.

**Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away**

**Now it looks as though they're here to stay**

**Oh I believe in Yesterday**

It was weird. Just a mere week ago, the biggest thing in life was little stuff, like, how were his classmates going to try to torture him. And they left him alone for the most part. Once in a while, when they got bored of picking on all the normal geeks around school, they decided to make Lucas the target of the week. He didn't mind it that much because he knew that he could easily block it out since he had been doing it since that one summer at basketball camp.

**Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be**

**There's a shadow hanging over me**

**Oh Yesterday came suddenly**

He just didn't feel like himself anymore. It was like he had died, but his body was still living.

**Why she had to go I don't know**

**She wouldn't say**

**I said something wrong now I long for yesterday**

Why did she have to leave him there? What was he supposed to do now? Who was he going to live with? Surely, the state wouldn't let a sixteen year old live by himself. He probably wouldn't be able to anyway. He wouldn't be able to run the café by himself. The café. What was going to happen to it now that she was gone? Who would run it? Would Dave be able to? He had his own work. He was a professor a nearby college. Taught literature. Lucas had always loved being read to by the older man and now loved to read anything he could get his hands on. Would they shut it down? Everything was falling apart.

He tried convincing David to adopt him. All he had said was that he couldn't. The state probably wouldn't let him if he had a father. Unfortunately he did have a 'father.' If there was ever a use for air quotes, they belonged around that word. He'd never even met his father. Dave told him that if his father turned out to be some evil freak of nature or a pervert or something, the state would be more lenient in giving David custody. He wasn't sure if that was true, but he saw the look in the older man's eyes. There was nothing he could do about it and it was killing him. Lucas said that he would give it a shot and David said that he could come back if it ended up being as bad as he thought it would.

**Yesterday love was such an easy game to play**

**Now I need a place to hide away**

**Oh I believe in Yesterday**


	6. Boulevard of Broken Dreams

**Author's Note: **Remember I'll take any type of criticism! If I'm doing something wrong or if there's something I can improve please tell me!! Thanks! And sorry it took so long. Guess that ADD kind of kicked in…

**Song: **"Ghost of You" by Good Charlotte

**And I will wait until the end  
When the pendulum will swing back to the darker side of our hearts bleeding  
I will save this empty space next to me like it's a grave  
Where I lay a place for us to sleep eternally together**

I have been searching for traces of what we were

Lucas abruptly woke up in a cold sweat. His mother was alive. She told him that she never wanted him. She told him that he should have never been born. It was a mistake. He was a mistake. No. No, it wasn't true. She wasn't alive. She was dead. She would have never said anything like that. She loved him. Didn't she?

****

A ghost of you is all that I have left  
It's all that I have left of you to hold  
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me  
And nothing left of what we were at all

Did she really think those things? Did she really wish that she had aborted him when she had had the chance? He decided against it and tried to get some sleep. He had no idea what tomorrow was going to be like. He had no idea what the rest of his life was going to be like. Were they going to at least keep him? He knew that Dan didn't like him, but Deb had acted nice to him. What about Nathan. Were they the kind of parents who only cared about their real son? Nathan had always seemed spoiled. Maybe they would get rid of him if he didn't get along with Nathan. He was just so tired…

****

So here I am pacing around this house again  
With pictures of us living on these walls  
I see my breath in the cold of the air that I breathe and I'm wondering  
I'm wondering if it's you that I feel   
If it's you that I feel here haunting me forever

I have been searching for traces of what we were

_He was walking outside. He had no idea where he was. There was nothing but the sidewalk empty of everyone but him and the street empty of all the cars. There weren't any houses or trees. Then he saw it. His house. The house that he thought he would never be allowed to go in again. He started running towards it, trying to get to it as fast as he could. He reached the house and opened the door to find everything the same. He walked around looking at all the old pictures of him and his mother. A picture of him at his fifth birthday party hung on the wall of the hall. A picture of him and Dave when he was a baby sat on an end table next to the living room couch. Him holding his first basketball. Baby pictures of him. Pictures of him growing up. Pictures of Karen and Dave. Pictures of him and Karen. He walked up to one and saw a picture of Andy, Karen's boyfriend. He was about twelve when it was taken. His mother sleeping against Andy's chest, Andy looking down at her smiling.. He remembered that day. How Andy had finally proposed to Karen, how she said yes, how they were all so excited. He also remembered the next day. The day of the fire. Andy's apartment building had caught on fire. They never got him out in time. That picture had been taken down long ago. Suddenly it got cold in his house. He could see his breath. He heard his mother calling him. But she was dead. She couldn't be here. Maybe she wasn't dead. Maybe she was still alive! He followed the calls to his mother's room. He opened the door and found her. Dead. Dead on the bloodied carpet. He screamed. He screamed as loud as he could, but no sound came out. So he started running. He ran as far as he could from the house. Away from his dead mother. Away from his house. Away from everything. _

**  
**

**And I'm not looking for anything but us  
Anything but what we were  
And I'm not asking for painted memories  
I only want to know you're here**

_Someone else was calling his name now. His mother. No it was someone else's voice. "Lucas, wake up! Lucas you're having a dream!" A dream? _Unexpectedly, he was in his bed. The sidewalk was gone. The emptiness was gone. Everything but the cold. He was so cold he was shaking.

"Lucas, you're burning up! Do you feel alright?" Deb.

All he could do was nod. He didn't think he could make any words out without his voice cracking.

"You were having a bad dream. Do you want to talk about it?"

Talk about? Was she insane? He had only met her today, but she wanted him to tell her everything that was wrong. She wanted him to open up to a complete stranger when he wasn't all that good at opening up at all. He just turned over and faced the other way.

****

A ghost of you is all that I have left  
It's all that I have left of you to hold  
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me  
And nothing left of what we were at all

He heard two pairs of footsteps leaving the room but didn't give it much concern. He was too wrapped up in his own thoughts. He had another dream that night. She was watching him play basketball, cheering him on. When he woke up though, he was alone. She was really dead.


	7. Ghost of You

**Author's Note: **Remember I'll take any type of criticism! If I'm doing something wrong or if there's something I can improve please tell me! Thanks! And sorry it took so long. Guess that ADD kind of kicked in…

**Song: "G**host of You" by Good Charlotte

**And I will wait until the end  
When the pendulum will swing back to the darker side of our hearts bleeding  
I will save this empty space next to me like it's a grave  
Where I lay a place for us to sleep eternally together**

I have been searching for traces of what we were

Lucas abruptly woke up in a cold sweat. His mother was alive. She told him that she never wanted him. She told him that he should have never been born. It was a mistake. He was a mistake. No. No, it wasn't true. She wasn't alive. She was dead. She would have never said anything like that. She loved him. Didn't she?

****

A ghost of you is all that I have left  
It's all that I have left of you to hold  
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me  
And nothing left of what we were at all

Did she really think those things? Did she really wish that she had aborted him when she had had the chance? He decided against it and tried to get some sleep. He had no idea what tomorrow was going to be like. He had no idea what the rest of his life was going to be like. Were they going to at least keep him? He knew that Dan didn't like him, but Deb had acted nice to him. What about Nathan. Were they the kind of parents who only cared about their real son? Nathan had always seemed spoiled. Maybe they would get rid of him if he didn't get along with Nathan. He was just so tired…

****

So here I am pacing around this house again  
With pictures of us living on these walls  
I see my breath in the cold of the air that I breathe and I'm wondering  
I'm wondering if it's you that I feel   
If it's you that I feel here haunting me forever

I have been searching for traces of what we were

_He was walking outside. He had no idea where he was. There was nothing but the sidewalk empty of everyone but him and the street empty of all the cars. There weren't any houses or trees. Then he saw it. His house. The house that he thought he would never be allowed to go in again. He started running towards it, trying to get to it as fast as he could. He reached the house and opened the door to find everything the same. He walked around looking at all the old pictures of him and his mother. A picture of him at his fifth birthday party hung on the wall of the hall. A picture of him and Keith when he was a baby sat on an end table next to the living room couch. Skills and him playing basketball at River Court. Baby pictures of him. Pictures of him growing up. Pictures of Karen and Keith. Pictures of him and Karen. He walked up to one and saw the last picture that they ever took with Keith. He was twelve. Luke was sitting in between Keith and Karen on the couch. He remembered that day. How Keith had finally proposed to Karen, how she said yes, how they were all so excited. That was the day of the fire. Keith's apartment building had caught on fire. They never got him out in time. Suddenly it got cold in his house. He could see his breath. He heard his mother calling him. But she was dead. She couldn't be here. Maybe she wasn't dead. Maybe she was still alive! He followed the calls to his mother's room. He opened the door and found her. Dead. Dead on the bloodied carpet. He screamed. He screamed as loud as he could, but no sound came out. So he started running. He ran as far as he could from the house. Away from his dead mother. Away from his house. Away from everything. _

**  
**

**And I'm not looking for anything but us  
Anything but what we were  
And I'm not asking for painted memories  
I only want to know you're here**

_Someone else was calling his name now. His mother. No it was someone else's voice. "Lucas, wake up! Lucas you're having a dream!" A dream? _Unexpectedly, he was in his bed. The sidewalk was gone. The emptiness was gone. Everything but the cold. He was so cold he was shaking.

"Lucas, you're burning up! Do you feel alright?" Deb.

All he could do was nod. He didn't think he could make any words out without his voice cracking.

"You were having a bad dream. Do you want to talk about it?"

Talk about? Was she insane? He had only met her today, but she wanted him to tell her everything that was wrong. She wanted him to open up to a complete stranger when he wasn't all that good at opening up at all. He just turned over and faced the other way.

****

A ghost of you is all that I have left  
It's all that I have left of you to hold  
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me  
And nothing left of what we were at all

He heard two pairs of footsteps leaving the room but didn't give it much concern. He was too wrapped up in his own thoughts. He had another dream that night. She was watching him play basketball, cheering him on. When he woke up though, he was alone. She was really dead.


	8. Little Things

**Author's Note: **So this is like barely any song but it was a good song and reminded me of Lucas for this story. Just listen to the song while you read this chapter. It's nice and long as a going away present to sweets who has to go on an awful retreat this weekend. There you go!

**Song:** "Little Things" by Good Charlotte

**Like the time in school when we got free lunch,  
and the cool kids beat us up  
and the rich kids had convertibles  
and we had to ride the bus  
like the time we made the baseball team,  
but they still laughed at us  
like the time that girl broke up with me   
cause I wasn't cool enough**

First day at a new school, hard enough. Being forced to be drive in an extremely expensive BMW with his father who wished he had never been born and brother who wished he were dead, difficult beyond words. He wished Deb hadn't made Dan offer him a ride. He would have been perfectly fine with walking even though he had no idea where he now lived and he didn't know where the school was. He could have figured it out, but "No, Lucas. You don't really want to walk. It's too far away." Luke had a feeling that the only reason she was being so strong about not letting him walk was because he was actually fighting back. He hadn't talked much since he got there. He really didn't have much to say.

They pulled up in front of the school that Lucas was now supposed to be going to. He wondered what would happen if he didn't go into the school. What would happen if he just walked away? What if he waited for Dan to pull away and then went the opposite way of the school? No one would miss him. He was pretty sure that Nathan wouldn't go after him. As a matter of fact, he was sure that Nathan wouldn't go after him. As soon as the car came to a complete stop, Nathan jumped out of the car and went towards a group of people. No "good-bye" to his dad—their dad. No "hey Lucas, since you don't know where anything is and you don't know anybody, let me show you around." Nope, he just got out of the car, slammed the door, and headed off to his friends.

**  
The little things,  
little things they always hang around  
the little things  
little things they try to break me down  
the little things  
little things they just wont go away  
the little things  
little things made me who I am today  
**

Lucas thought back to his freshman year of high school (sure it wasn't a long trip down memory lane since it was only last year…). He remembered everything he went through. The bullies, the jocks, the punks, the druggies, cheerleaders, the hippies even. It was so much different than what he had expected. He didn't even know what he expected in life anymore. Nothing ever turned out as he hoped so he sort of just decided to stop hoping. No more hopes and dreams meant no more disappointments. He decided right then and there that he would never rely on anyone for anything ever again. If he started to rely on someone, it just meant that he could actually start to care about them and then they would be able to hurt him.

**  
You wanna hate me now  
but I won't stop now cause  
I can't stop now... **

The people in Nathan's group began to turn and look towards the car that Lucas sat in. He wasn't sure if it was because of something Nathan had said or because of the fact that the car was probably sitting there for longer than it usually did, but he was positive that they were all staring. Lucas finally opened the car door. As he was stepping out, he assumed he would hear a "Nathan's just being a prick. Let me show you where the office is" but nope. He gave one last glance at Dan and he was staring straight ahead. That proved said point. If Luke had relied on Dan to help him out, he would have just gotten disappointed again.

The longer he stayed there standing at the building, the more people stared at him. He identified most of the basic clicks. The bullies, standing around rough housing with either each other or a smaller, weaker kid. The jocks, all wearing identical lettermen jackets. The punks, bearing band name t-shirts, a couple of bands Lucas had heard of before. The druggies, looking like crap and pretty much doing nothing. The hippies, trying to braid each other's hair. The cheerleaders, waving pom-poms in each other's faces. But, one of the cheerleaders caught his eye. She was staring at him with beautiful eyes. He quickly broke the intent stare they shared, remembering his before mentioned new rule. He guessed he'd have to find the main office for himself.


	9. It Ain't That Easy Bein' Green

**Author's Note: **Ok, song is weird but it fits. Here's a nice long one for you. About a thousand more words than the last one (no. seriously)

**Song: **It Ain't Easy Bein' Green by Ray Charles (yes it's the remake of Kermit the Frog's song. Shut it)

**It's not that easy bein' green**

**Havin' to spend each day the color of the leaves**

**When I think it could be so much nicer bein' red yellow or gold**

**Or something much more colorful likes that**

Lucas walked through the halls of Tree Hill High absentmindedly. He had no idea where he was going and it wasn't as though anyone was going to stop and point him in the direction of the main office. After the second bell rang, the hallways cleared out except for the few people who had obviously never bothered to get to homeroom on time. Lucas eventually resorted to asking a guy walking down the hallway with his arm wrapped around the shoulder of a girl. She didn't look too pleased with having his arm there, but it looked as though she gave up with trying to brush it away. Then he realized it. It wasn't just a girl. It was the cheerleader. The one who had looked at him earlier. He finally broke out of his daze and asked them where the main office was, trying not to make it obvious that he thought the girl was gorgeous. The guy just shoved his books to the ground and pushed him in the locker.

"Welcome to T.H., Bitch," he quoted.

"Tim! You're such an ass!" the girl shouted disgustedly.

"Come on, Babe. We're already late for class," he said trying to wrap his arm around her waist. She just replied with a disgusted look and pushed it off. Just when Luke thought he would be stuck wandering the halls of Tree Hill High for the rest of the day because of some arguing couple, the girl turned back towards him: "Go to the end of the hall and turn right. Just keep walking."

The boy then did something that made Luke wonder what the academic level for his new school was: he leaned in to kiss the girl.

"Eww! Tim!" she turned and walked away. "Nathan has such disgusting friends!"

So she was a friend of Nathan's. She probably wouldn't even remember him or even giving him directions. He was used to it. Not many people paid much attention to him at school. He didn't have any friends. He usually just spent his free time reading or shooting hoops at an abandoned court a short walking distance from his house. He used to tell his mother that he met a group of guys down there and he played with them everyday. In reality, he just wanted his mother to stop worrying about his social issues, which he had many of. He didn't even catch himself watching the girl walk away until Tim interrupted his thoughts.

"What are you looking at?" he snarled. Pushing him into the locker once again. For once, Lucas was glad someone disrupted his thoughts. He didn't really feel like getting into deep reflection on his mother in the middle of a hall of his new school in front of someone who he didn't even know but already didn't like. For one, it was complicated. For two, he decided to stop showing his emotions. It would make people stay away from him and make his new rule easier to follow.

**Lord, its not easy bein green**

**It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things**

**And people tend to pass you over cause you're not standing out like flashy sparkles on the water**

**Or stars in the sky**

Luke picked up his books once again, and began his never ending expedition to the main office thanking God that he now knew where he was going. He started off in the direction the girl had told him, but the bell rang and students poured out of the doors. He felt like a lost four year old. Everything moved so fast and he didn't understand anything that was going on. He only took a couple more hits into the locker before he succeeded in dropping his books on the floor again. This time, he wouldn't be able to walkover to them and just pick them up. The hallway was crowded with teenagers running around, throwing stuff, and having seemingly meaningless conversations. The crowd eventually started to even out until he was able to retrieve his books without getting kicked back down along with them. Once again he started on his long journey to the main office.

"Excuse me?"

"How can I help you?" the bored secretary asked after Luke made himself known.

"I'm new here and…"

"Name?" she interrupted.

"Lucas Scott."

She gave him his schedule and a confusing map of the school. He had geometry first—well second. According to his schedule he already missed art. Well, at least he had an easy class first period.

He got through geometry pretty easy. It was obvious that he was ahead of the rest of the class—which just gave his classmates a reason to hate him since Nathan was in that class. There had been staring, whispering, and eventually evil glares once they all found out that he was actually good at the subject. He heard a couple of cracks that he couldn't quite make out but was sure that it was about him. It did not go as well as he expected. Of course, he didn't really expect it to go well which was kind of against what he had decided earlier.

**But green is the color of spring**

**And green can be cool an friendly like **

**Oh green can be big like an ocean**

**Or important like a mountain**

**Or tall like a tree**

At lunch, he ate alone. For the rest of the day, he did nothing but make people hate him even more. Then, to top it all off, he had to stay after school. He didn't get into trouble or anything; if anything the teachers were changing his schedule so he was in more advanced classes. He had to wait until Nathan was done at basketball practice. Deb and Dan had to work until six. To Luke, it was weird. His mom was always home when he got home. That was, she was always home when he was younger. When he got older, she bought the café and he usually just went there after school anyway. Now, even if he did manage to get a ride home straight after school, he would be home alone.

Right now, he was sitting in the gym watching the guys practice. He didn't have anywhere else to go so their coach said he could sit in the bleachers. One thing weird about Tree Hill High was the fact that the cheerleaders and the basketball players both practiced in the gym at the same time. It was odd, but he did get to stare at the one cheerleader who he saw earlier. Twice. He saw her curly blonde hair bounce at her shoulders. Around four o'clock, the cheerleaders were done practicing. They all headed out for their cars except for the blonde cheerleader that he had been watching earlier. She was walking towards him.

"Hey," she greeted when they were in earshot of each other.

"Umm, hey," he replied hesitantly.

"You trying out for the basketball team or something?" she asked while sitting down on the bleachers next to him.

"No," he almost laughed. Him? On the basketball team? Apparently she didn't realize that a guy like him never got to be on the basketball team. He loved to shoot hoops by himself, but he never even knew the rules of the real game. The only games he had ever played were strictly street ball on those rare occasions the Jenna would play with him. She was more a footballer. Just like her dad.

"Oh." She sounded confused. "What are you doing here then?"

"My half-brother is on the basketball team and he needs to give me a ride home. So I'm stuck here until practice is done."

She noticed how he stressed the word "half" in half-brother. "Really? I didn't know one of the guys had a brother."

"Half-brother," he corrected.

"Well then, who's your _half_-brother?"

"Nathan Scott."

"No way! Really? I never knew that!" she exclaimed astonished.

"Yup."

"How come today was your first day then?"

"I was living with my mom, but she died," he stated bluntly. She was just another cheerleader. She wouldn't understand. He just wanted someone who would understand him.

She was shocked about how frank he said it. She remembered back to when her mom died. She didn't think anyone understood her. She remembered how hard it had been whenever someone asked her about where her mom was. He probably felt the same way. He was probably thinking that if anyone could have the least amount of understanding on the subject, it would be a dumb blonde, cheerleader nonetheless. She was about to ask what had happened but then remembered. As she got older, she started to judge a lot people on how they reacted to her telling them about her mom. Some people didn't believe it; those were the people who thought that the worst thing that could ever happen was not having a date to the dance. Some people said that they were sorry; the sorry people who didn't understand. Some people just stated that it sucked; those were people that she would have to judge on further conversations. Then there were the people who asked about the details; the inconsiderate nosy people.

"I'm Peyton," she decided on just introducing herself. She could say that she understood what it was like, but it obviously just happened a little while ago since he just moved here and she thought a subject change would be best.

"Lucas," he replied, shaking her hand. He was relieved that she hadn't asked for details on his mother. He hadn't had to tell anyone yet, seeing as though he hadn't talked to anyone all day.

They talked for a little while. Just the light stuff; school, friends, classes, basketball, stuff like that. It was then that Lucas remembered running into her. He didn't think that she would even remember him. Apparently, he was wrong.

**I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful.  
And I think it's what I want to be.**

**Author's Note: **Yes! It was Peyton! I actually didn't let on to who it was because I couldn't decide. Sorry if it was the more predictable one, but I have a whole new thing going now. I'm pretty sure that it's not gonna be a Lucas/Peyton. But, with my mind, _I _don't think I'll ever know. There. A double whammy. I know I just posted but I wanted to write and figured that I'd post it now.


	10. Smile Like You Mean It

**Another Author's Note: **(I wrote this one after the one below but just ignore it all!) Mwahhahaha!! I am so unbelievably hyper!! I just had eight marshmallow peeps and a baby bottle pop and it's eleven forty-five and I have school tomorrow for the first time in a week cause I've been on spring break baby!!!! Whoohoo!!! I'm am gonna be in so much trouble tomorrow!!! Actually, my friends are gonna be in even more trouble cause they're gonna have to deal with me!!! Mwahhahaha!!! (Sorry Lisa!) Sorry if this chapter is short but I haven't updated in a while and I haven't written in this for a while so I'm just gonna finish this chapter off and get a new one started cause I am so bored of this chapter! (for those of you who are scared right now: I only wrote the last couple of paragraphs under my hyperness even though I doubt you can tell the difference! the only difference is that I type a lot faster!!!)

**Author's Note:** Since I changed the story line (again), I had to change this chapter's song (again). Took me forever to find another one and that was actually pretty disappointing since I knew exactly what was gonna be in this chapter since I wrote the last one. Think I got the perfect song though!

**Song:** "Smile Like You Mean It" by The Killers

**Save some face, you know you've only got one**

**Change your ways while you're young**

**Boy, one day you'll be a man**

**Oh girl, he'll help you understand **

**Smile like you mean it**

**Smile like you mean it**

Sure, Monday sucked. First day at a new school, he had no idea where he was going, he was the brand new kid so people kept giving him weird looks, plus it was a Monday and those always sucked. Now, it was Tuesday. It was a lot better than Monday because he had already found most of his classes, his teachers pretty much learned his name, and even his piers had quieted down the talking in front of him. He just wasn't in the mood though. He should have been grateful for all of that stuff, but he wasn't. He had gotten into a fight with his English teacher because, in the high level class of Tree Hill High sophomores, they were starting to read Tom Sawyer. Tom Sawyer! He read that book when he was ten! It's a book written for kids. How hard was that kind of book to understand? He eventually called the teacher and everyone else in that town and school dumb asses which was pretty appalling based on his broad vocabulary. He, right now, could think a few good synonyms. Those, though, would probably get him more than just sent down to the principal's office. The principal just let it go since it was only his second day there. The principal was going to "keep a close eye on him," though. He wasn't all that sure, but it sounded a little stalkerish to Luke.

It was reaching four and the cheerleaders broke apart to all head to wherever they were going. This town was going to be very predictable. The guys on the court were now playing a scrimmage. Luke was really into it. It didn't matter who was playing; if there was a basketball game going on, Luke was watching.

"Hey you," said a voice. Peyton.

"Hey."

"Waiting for Nathan again?" she asked, remembering what he had said the day before about his half-brother.

"Yup." He decided to keep his answers short. He still hadn't met anyone at the new school and thought that keeping his mouth shut would be the best way to not drive away his only chance as a friend.

"Do you want a ride home or anything?"

"No thanks. It's too weird going home to an empty house."

"I can totally get that." A lot of times she just drove for miles just so she wouldn't have to go home to a vacant house. "You really like basketball that much?" she asked noticing that he had already turned his attention back to the scrimmage, "or am I supposed to be talking a hint?" He laughed. At least she knew that answer. "Do you play basketball? Or are you the kind of watching from the sidelines type?"

"I play a little. I used to play at an old, abandoned court by my old house."

"Alone?"

"Never really had anyone to play with." That was when she figured it out. She knew the perfect place for him. The whole time talking to him the day before, she had been trying to think of somewhere where he could hang out. She couldn't even imagine how boring it would be having to sit on the bleachers for almost three hours having nothing to do but watch people who didn't like you play basketball.

"Hey, it must get pretty boring just sitting here. And it's still early meaning you would have another two hours of doing nothing."

"So?"

"So do you wanna go for a drive?" She really hoped that he would say yes. He looked like he really needed something in his life and she didn't think that sitting around alone doing nothing would quite cut it.

He looked around. Didn't look like anyone would miss him if he left. "Sure." He had already done all of his homework and since the dumb ass principal didn't give him detention, he was free to leave.

"Come on." He followed her out to her car and he was right; not one person even noticed him leaving. Sometimes he wondered if anyone would have noticed if he went to go live by himself in his old house. They got into her car and as soon as she turned on the car, Jack's Mannequin's "Dark Blue" came blasting out of the speakers. She quickly turned it down. She always did that. Habit from her dad. She always turned the music up really loud and then forgot to turn it down before she got out of the car.

"Sorry," she quickly apologized hoping that the sudden loudness hadn't popped his ear drum or anything.

"It's fine," he laughed. "I actually like this song." He smiled and turned the radio back up almost to the point where it was when they first entered the car. That was when Peyton saw it. His smile. It was the most amazing, genuine smile she had ever seen. She hoped that she could have a chance to see it a lot more.

**Looking back at sunsets on the Eastside**

**We lost track of the time**

**Dreams aren't what they used to be**

**Some things slide by so carelessly **

"So, we going anywhere in particular?" he asked once he turned down the radio after Concrete Blondes' "Joey" played. AudioSlave's "Be Yourself" was playing. They had been driving for about five minutes and they already realized what similar tastes in music they had.

"Sort of."

"And does this place in particular happen to be a cliff that you plan on pushing me off?" They both laughed.

"You have a really nice smile," she said openly. She usually wasn't that forward, but she had to say it. She instantly regretted it though once she saw how self-conscious he immediately became. What kind of a guy takes a compliment offensively?

"Here we are," she said, finally breaking the awkward silence. She pulled onto the grass next to a pond.

"So, you're going to drowned me instead of pushing me off a cliff since I caught onto your plan?" he asked without expression. Once she started laughing, he broke out into a smile too. "So where are we anyway?"

"River Court."

"What's River Court?" he asked as she stopped the car.

"It's a basketball court."

"Why did you bring me to a basketball court? Didn't I tell you why people never wanted to play with me? It's because I suck."

"I'm sure you're not that bad."

"You have no idea." Lucas knew that he was actually pretty good, but he knew that a bunch of guys that already had a game together wouldn't let some guy who's never played with anyone else before play. They got out of the car and walked towards the court. As they got closer they could see four guys playing an apparent two-on-two game. They were all pretty good; not as intense as it was in the school gym. Lucas guessed that he was probably good enough to play with them; if they would ever let them that is.

"Look, they already have a game together. They don't need me going in there to mess it up," he said hoping that she would just say 'you're right' and they could go back to the school. No luck on his part, though. She just kept walking towards them.

"Trust me. These guys are really cool. They'll be happy to have someone new play with them. They're nothing like the guys on the basketball team." As the finally approached, the game was over. One guy was jumping up and down evidently bragging; one was taking a drink from a water bottle; the third was sitting at a picnic table next to the court, trying to catch his breath; and the other was lying on the ground, saying that he couldn't breath.

"Believe me," she started again, "Mouth will be happy to get a replacement. Hey guys!"

"Hey!" came out of the mouths of the players, all at different times.

"Need some help, Mouth?" she asked advancing on the boy lying on the ground.

"No thanks. I think I'll just stay here for a while." Everybody laughed.

"Well, I think I found a replacement for you," she told him. "Guys, this is Lucas. Luke, this is Skills, Fergie, Junk, and Mouth."

"You wanna play a game, man?" Skills asked him.

"Umm…" he wasn't really sure what to say. What if he didn't play good enough?

"Please?" Mouth begged, desperately.

"Sure."

"Bless you!" yelled Mouth. They all laughed again.

"You can go in for Mouth. So you're on Junk's team."

"Alright." Peyton helped Mouth up and the two of them went to sit at the picnic bench to watch.

Within fifteen minutes of playing, Mouth decided that he never had to play basketball again; something he was very thankful for. Luke was not only good, but it seemed like he fit right in. They were joking and laughing and drenched in sweat by the time the game was over. They spent the next few hours joking, talking, and playing basketball.

Only when the sun started to fall did Lucas remember the events that led up to where he currently was. It was a while since he hadn't thought about his mom. Although he felt happy, a feeling he hadn't been experiencing lately, he felt a little guilty. It was like he was forgetting his mom. Then he thought about Dan and Nathan. Did they even notice that he wasn't there? Probably not. Nathan was probably home by now. Luke guessed that he would finally find out if anyone would really miss him if he was gone.

They said their good-byes and agreed to meet there again the next day after school. Then Luke followed Peyton back to the car.

"Hey, are you going to get in trouble or anything for not being there?" Peyton asked once they started on the street.

"I guess we'll find out."

**And someone is calling my name**

**From the back of the restaurant**

**And someone is playing a game**

**In the house that I grew up in**

**And someone will drive her around**

**Down the same streets that I did**

**Down the same streets that I did **

Peyton didn't want to get Lucas in trouble so she decided to take a short cut back to his house. It probably helped that she knew where he lived because of Nathan, because Luke really didn't seem to know where anything was in town. As Luke looked at his surroundings, he realized where they were. They were in his old neighborhood. He and his mother had lived in this neighborhood when he was younger. They had lived here until he was about five and had to go to school. He barely remembered living here but it all came back to him as he saw the house he once lived in. A pain hit him in his stomach. Why had his mother never told him that they used to live only a few miles away from his father? Did they really live there for that long without Dan even acknowledging his oldest son? It didn't help that when they drove right past his house, a family was moving in. Two teenagers. Both boys. They just stood there together, laughing at one of the movers who was making a complete ass of himself by pretending he could lift something that he probably couldn't even lift if he was twenty years younger. They looked happy together. Like they shared a bond. They looked like what Lucas knew that he and Nathan would never be. Then the mother came out of the house and started talking to them. They all laughed. Then the father came out and tossed a basketball unrepentantly at one of his sons. The boy almost toppled over and the other boy laughed. The red light turned green and Peyton had almost missed it. She was too busy watching Lucas' reaction to the family bond. As she pulled away from the house that was once his, the boys and their father started to play basketball; laughing and joking around with each other. The mother stood by and watched, laughing at the trash talk being thrown friendlily between father and sons.

"Hey, Luke?" He broke out of his trance. "You ok?" he nodded and she somehow knew that that was his house. Like a special bond the two shared. One feeling the other's pain. Or it could just be that the look on his face was a mixture of pain, want, need, and memories.

"Then smile," she said, wanting to see that beautiful smile of his once more before she dropped him off. He gave a weak not-even-trying-to-impress-you smile. "No, smile like you mean it."

He ignored her and fiddled with the tracks on the burned CD that was in her car. He gave a bitter laugh when he felt the irony of a song he immediately recognized and turned it up.

**Smile like you mean it**

**Smile like you mean it**

**Smile like you mean it**

**Smile like you mean it**

**Yet another Author's Note (you guys know you love them!): **So it's twelve oh seven and I'm finishing up. I think in the next chapter I'll throw in some Whitey-Lucas, Dan-Lucas, maybe some Nathan-Lucas, probably some Brooke-Peyton, Lucas-the guys at River Court, and maybe I'll enter Haley. (Yeah, I over plan with lack of sleep). I think I might enter Keith in. I really want him in this story, but I don't know how he'd fit in. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know!!!!!! Please! And I might throw a baby in. Not sure who's baby. Not sure when. But I usually get obsessed with a certain topic, action, character, characteristic, etc, and then throw it into all my stories (most not written down) and now I'm on babies. I just went to my cousin's baby's baptism today and saw my new lil cuz for the first time and she is so cute!!! Plus I was hanging out with my cuz who had the baby and she was talking about her first baby girl and showing me all the cute baby stuff and I think I'm gonna throw a baby into this story. (once again if anyone has any ideas how, please let me know) It'll probably be with someone I like but that's very vague seeing as how I change my like/hate characters daily. Good-night all! Please give me some ideas on how to enter Keith or a baby or anyone else that you think would be good in this story.


	11. Side

**Author's Note: **Ok. One, I'm back! Whoo hoo! Yeah. So. After taking me almost an hour and a half of looking through music, I have decided to do a smart thing. I am not going to turn all of these into songfics. I'll end up writing more and I can write everything I want instead of just stuff that fits the song. I'll still base it on a song and if you, for some strange reason, like my taste in music you can look it up. There now I will write… I'm trying to make this extra long just for the people who actually have been waiting for me to update.

**Song: ** "Side" Travis

"Hey. Where have you been?" was the first thing Luke heard when he came in. It was Nathan. He was sitting in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal. It wasn't like he was sitting there waiting for him to come home, but he looked like he might care if he had gotten kidnapped by some of the druggies. That was an improvement from the last time they spoke.

"Umm, I went out with someone after school," he said, not knowing how much information he was supposed to be giving. He didn't want to tell him exactly where he had been and with who and what they were doing because he didn't want to get his hopes up that Nathan actually cared. Maybe he was just making conversation since he was, apparently, alone in the house.

"So you met somebody who doesn't think your scum? Good for you." The way he said it confused Lucas. He didn't say it in a jerky tone or in a mocking tone. It was more of a good for you that he would have gotten from Dad, or the man he had come to call Dad before his mom died.

"Who is it?"

"Excuse me?" Luke had been so caught up in memories of his 'dad' that he hadn't been paying attention to Nathan.

"Who were you with? Someone I would know?"

"Yeah, actually. Peyton Sawyer. She said she's friends with you."

"Yeah, you could say that. We used to date. She's too complicated though. We're still friends and everything. She just needs someone that likes what she likes. She's a huge music freak."

"Yeah I can tell."

"You hungry? Mom and Dad called and said they were going out for dinner after work. They won't be home for a while."

"I'm actually good for now. Just a little tired." Nathan just nodded in response and went back to eating his cereal. Lucas took the chance to go upstairs to his room and think. He realized how sweaty he was and hoped in the shower to think.

He suddenly felt guilty, relieved, stressed, horrible, and sick. The second he thought of David, the man who he had called Dad for years. He hadn't seen him since his mother's funeral. David was his best friend's dad and his mom's best friend. He and Sam, David's daughter, had met in school in seventh grade. David, also being a single and involved parent, quickly hit it off with Karen. To Sam and Luke's discontent, they never dated. They were just friends. Just like Luke and Sam. Sam and Luke spent so much time at each other's houses; they soon started claiming the other's parent as their own. At first it was just as a joke. David would call them down for dinner and Sam would call "coming, Dad" and Luke would mock her in calling "coming, Dad." They soon just picked up calling Karen and David mom and dad. They were practically family.

He felt so guilty that he hadn't thought about them at all. He was convinced that he'd be calling them everyday. He hadn't called them once. He felt awful. He decided to call them as soon as he got out of the shower. He didn't have a cell phone so he decided to use the phone sitting on his end table next to his bed. Hey, it was there to be used, wasn't it?

"Hello?" answered a man in a gruff voice. He had probably been working. He worked at home and hated interruptions. Luke felt bad that he had disrupted the man's work, but he had felt worse before he called and decided to ignore the man's crusty voice.

"Hey, old man, what's shakin'?" Luke could almost see his face. He would run a large hand through his disheveled brown hair, the effect of not owning a brush. His dark brown eyes would light up. They would have deep circles under them from lack of sleep. His mouth would turn into one of the biggest smiles Luke had ever seen making the laugh lines around his face look deep.

"Luke?" he asked, already knowing the answer. "It's you!" He gave a hardy laugh that made Luke smile like he hadn't in months. They both just spent probably thirty seconds laughing. He almost felt high. He had had a great day and now he had something to make it ten times better.

David filled him in on how Sam was doing in school and how he was dating a really nice girl and how his work was going while Luke filled him in on how school was and how he had found people to play basketball with. David had always done all the father-y things with Luke and Sam. Camping, fishing, tossing the football around. Everything but basketball due to the knee injury he had gotten in college while playing football. Sam had never played with him either. She sucked at basketball. Not because of the whole 'she's a prissy girl' thing. Because she's not. She could take out most of the guys in their old school if she had wanted to. It was just that football was her game. Every time she tried to play basketball with him, she would throw the ball way too hard. It would either not even come close to hitting the backboard, or she would hit it hard and it would come flying back and hit Lucas. He had some good memories of playing with her.

David got off the phone and put Sam on. She screamed so loud he thought he would pop and eardrum.

"So I hear you got yourself a girl," she teased.

"Hey, she's not my girl." He almost regretted telling David about Peyton, but he didn't. He talked to David like he would talk to his real dad. That is if his dad had been around at all. Somehow he couldn't see him and Dan talking about girls.

"So tell me about your girl." He laughed and thought _well, that's Sam for you._ She never listened to what he said unless it was something serious. They spent almost three hours talking and it was past ten when he got off the phone. He just hoped Dan wouldn't mind that he was on the phone for so long and went downstairs to get himself something to eat.

**Author's Note: **Yay me! I finished a chapter. Thank you! Thank you! I know it's not that long but I swear I will write tonight and have another chapter posted by tomorrow. Consider this a filler chapter since I didn't even start writing about what I said I'd write about. So I was going to make David Keith but I like the name David better so screw Keith. And no David is not supposed to be Keith. Maybe I'll still bring Keith in. So there. I just wanted to write something to keep my Sweets from biting my head off and for you guys to know I'm still alive. And thanks to all the people who suggested stuff! Still taking sugestions about anything and constructive criticism and mean criticism as long as it's helpful to my writing. Over and out.


	12. Wonderwall

**Author's Note: **So I started writing this forever ago and just found it. I've been writing a lot lately, just not for this. I didn't even think about it until I got a review like yesterday (and by the way to the last person who reviewed, you made me happy and got me to update. Yay you!). but anyways. I have absolutely no idea why I picked this song so it may be awkward. just a lil.

**Author's Note 2: **Wrote the first author's note a while ago but never finished the story. Obviously I finished it this time or else you wouldn't be reading it.

**Song: '**wonderwall' by oasis.

**Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna throw it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do about you now **

"Luke's on my team," Skills shouted as soon as he saw Peyton's car drive up near the River Court. Luke had been playing with them for not even a week and he had already become everybody's favorite. They all wanted him on their team because he was such a good player. They all went to him for synopsis on the books they had to read for class but had conveniently misplaced before reading since he had already read everything that the school was teaching them. They all wanted to hang out with him after school because of the looks the girls gave him because of his sensitive blue eyes and messy blonde hair. Most people thought that they were just using him. Even if that was the case, Luke wouldn't have minded. He had never gotten so much attention. In their own twisted little group of outcasts, he was popular. The guys at River Court weren't using him though. They liked him. They were the outcasts of Tree Hill High. They just accepted him as one of their own. They had adopted him and it was just what he needed. He needed to be loved. He needed to be apart of a group. He needed to be needed.

He hadn't really talked to anyone but them and Peyton since she introduced him to them. He and Dan almost ignored each other; both avoiding the confrontation that they both knew was inevitable. He and Nathan hadn't talked much either. Nathan had been strangely pleasant around him but not to the point where he would talk to him in public or say anything nice to him. He talked to Peyton everyday while he sat on the bleachers and waited. He didn't even really wait for Nathan to be done with basketball anymore. He waited for Peyton to get done with cheerleading practice. Then she drove him to River Court. That was pretty much his day: he got up, got ready for school, Nathan drove him to school without saying a word to him, he said hi to Peyton as he passed her locker on the way to his first class, sat with the guys from River Court at lunch and joked around a little bit, waited for Peyton to get done with cheerleading, played basketball with the guys, went home, did his simple homework, and went to sleep. Everything was light. He knew it couldn't go on like that for long, but he wanted to enjoy it while it lasted. He didn't think. He just went through the day the same everyday. It gave him a security blanket that he could hide in until someone mentioned his mom or asked him why he wasn't living with Nathan when they were younger. It would only last until someone called him a bastard or he finally came to blows with Dan. Then his safe, little security blanket would be ripped away from him and he would be forced to deal with the cold and cruel reality.

****

Backbeat the word was on the street  
That the fire in your heart is out   
I'm sure you've heard it all before  
But you never really had a doubt  
I don't believe that anybody feels  
The way I do about you now

Everything was the same for about a month. If you had told Lucas that he would have a month of the life in his security blanket the day after his mom died, a month would have been more than enough. But now that he had lived the life, any time that he had to give it up would be too soon. It had started with Nathan.

"Hey, Luke. Can I ask you something?" He and Nathan were eating cereal for dinner. Deb had gone out of town and nobody ever really filled Lucas in on why Dan was never home.

"Sure." Normally, the question had thrown Lucas off guard. All the brothers ever talked about was sports. Lucas didn't really notice it though because he had had an amazing game at the River Court.

"You play basketball at the River Court after school don't you?" Peyton had talked to Nathan about it. Peyton said that Lucas was really good. That was when Nathan had started formulating his plan.

"Yeah. Everyday," Lucas replied with pride.

"Well, Peyton said you were pretty good and I was wondering if you were going to try out for the team."

"You mean at school?" Lucas couldn't believe it. Was Nathan scared that he would try and take his spot on the team? Or was Nathan inviting him? Either way Lucas looked at it, it was freaky.

"Yeah. If you're really good, I'm sure Whitey would let you try out. You play shooting guard right?"

"I guess so. I've never really played with a full team. Wait, isn't shooting guard your position?" Lucas' head was spinning.

"Yeah. And if you made the team I could help you perfect it."

"But the team already has you as a shooting guard. Why would you want me to go out for the team as shooting guard?"

"Well, to tell you the truth, I'm thinking about quitting."

"Why would you want to quit the basketball? You love it! It's your life!" Life in this dysfunctional family was way too dramatic.

"My dad loves basketball. He makes basketball my life. It's just too much pressure. I've been wanting to take a break for a while and I think if you're there to take my spot, it won't hit him as hard." Lucas didn't want to do it. He was too much of a nice guy. He felt sorry for Nathan. They were brothers after all.

Lucas did tryout for the team. He did make it. Nathan did quit.

Nathan had waited for about a week after Luke made the team to quit. The problem was, Nathan didn't give Lucas a heads up before he told Dan. Lucas came home, exhausted from basketball practice.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" was his welcome. Lucas hadn't seen Dan since before tryouts. It wasn't unusual for them to go that long with out seeing each other but apparently someone had just filled Dan in about the basketball situation. Luke had a feeling that if he had known sooner, he would have found him.

"What are you talking about?" Luke knew very well what he was talking about. He just didn't know what else to say.

"You think you can just take Nathan's place? Or are you just trying to get attention?" Lucas had never seen anyone's face turn that shade of purple. It was scary. How could one man get so worked up about a stupid game?

"Why the hell would I want any attention from you? I've barely even seen you and from what I have seen, you look like an ass!" Was that Lucas talking? He couldn't believe he'd actually said that. It was true though. All Dan cared about was himself. Nothing was ever good enough for him. Apparently Dan didn't see his logical reasoning. Dan backhanded Luke across the face. Luke was in shock. The shock lasted for about two seconds. Then he decided that he was going to leave no matter what.

"Do you really think I wanted you? Because I don't! I never wanted you! You were the reason I left your mother! I never wanted you and I never will!" There you have it. It stung a little bit, but Luke shook it off.

Nathan was relieved when he saw that all his brother did was run upstairs. Lucas could take some time to calm down while Nathan explained to Dan what was going on. Nathan heard Dan sigh and walked over to him. He realized that his father was drunk. It explained a lot but there was still the question of why the older man was dunk before six o'clock that wandered through Nathan's head. Dan couldn't have been that upset about his son quitting basketball, could he?

Some thumping from the top floor drew his eyes to the stairs. He saw Lucas running down, still in his basketball uniform, duffle bag in tow.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" he heard his father scream at his brother who was staring to form a bruise on the left side of his face.

"You obviously don't want me here! Why would I stay?"

"Fine! Get out of here you little bastard!" And with that, Lucas was gone. It scared Nathan a little. Where would he go? He didn't have anyone else, did he?

**  
And all the roads we have to walk along are winding  
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
There are many things that I would  
Like to say to you  
I don't know how **

The second Lucas was out of the house, he headed for the nearest bus station. He knew exactly where he was going. He never had to go back. He felt a little bad for not saying goodbye to Peyton and the guys, but he could always come back and to play ball with them and he had Peyton's number.

Running away had really been his plan the whole time. Ever since he got to where his long, thankfully-lost father lived, he had been waiting for Dan to do something wrong. Any sign that Dan didn't want his first born around. He had become less and less alert after meeting Peyton because he had actually started to enjoy his life. It didn't change the fact that at the first sign of trouble, he would run away. He would 'give it a chance' as everyone told him he had to. Now it was done. The phase in his life where he had his father was gone, past, never to be seen again. Lucas couldn't help but smile a little at that. He was going to get his old life back. He got to the bus stop with just enough time to start rereading The Great Gatsby. His life was finally going back to the way it should be.

Nathan couldn't believe Lucas had really left. Should he follow him? Should he try talking to his father? Where the hell was his mother? So many questions floated through his mind. He couldn't even get one out. He tried, and he ended up sounding like a babbling idiot. After a couple minutes of "What the… Dad… How could you…" he turned and ran up to his room. Let his drunken ass of a father sober up and feel like a complete bastard for saying those horrible things to his eldest.

**Because maybe  
You're gonna be the one who saves me?  
And after all   
You're my wonderwall **

The second he was on the bus, he pulled out his old, battered walkman with his favorite cd in it. The cd was a mix that his Jenna gave him. He watched the odd, unknown streets pass him and by the time "Wonderwall" came through his headphones, the unfamiliar streets turned to landmarks he remembered passing on long trips, and those turned into the houses he recognized. His school. The park where he, Dave, and Jenna would throw a football back and forth while his mom sat and watched. He thought that the thought of his mom would make him sad, but he just smiled at the memory. When he knew exactly where he was, he almost jumped out the window and walked the rest of the way. He was too excited to just sit and watch their house creep closer and closer. Then the bus turned. That wasn't the way to their house! They were going the wrong way! He had to get off! He had to… Then the fact that the bus wasn't going to take him directly to his best friend's house, let him off and say "Have fun!" struck him. The bus would take him to the bus stop and then he could walk from there. If he remembered correctly, it wouldn't be a long walk and his feet seemed to carry him there anyway. He knew the roads so well, and he practically ran there in excitement of knowing where he was going.

**Today was gonna be the day?  
But they'll never throw it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you're not to do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do  
About you now **

What the hell had he done? Why would he say those things to His son? Why would he? And now that Nathan had explained what exactly had happened, it made him feel even worse. Sure, Nathan shouldn't be quitting the team, and Lucas shouldn't be taking his place, but he would fix that once he found the boy.

He called social services to find out if he had anyone to go to. He debated on asking Nathan if he had any friends but decided against it after he saw how upset his youngest was. It took him forty-five minutes of talking to idiots to hear them blubber out the name 'Dave.' The man had been on Lucas' emergency care card.

"Would you like the phone number, sir?" the annoying woman with the deep voice that sounded like a man asked.

"Well, I have I'd really like to see if my son's okay and I have to go up there anyway so could you just give me the address?" There. Let this Dave guy see what a caring father he was.

It wasn't too long of a drive. It was a drive that he shouldn't have even been making, he realized about half way there. There was no guarantee that his oldest son would be at this man's house. He didn't even know who the hell this man is. He told himself that any good father would have made the drive anyway for the sake of his son. He didn't care. He had to drive for an hour and a half now because he was already half way there and Dan Scott never turned back. He told himself that he would at least look like a father-of-the-year nominee. It made him feel a little bit better but it still bugged him that he had to go all this way out of his way for this kid.

**Author's Note: **So realizing that I've been ranting for six pages, has made me decide to take this in two parts because I still got a lot to say. And also: it has been brought to my attention cough lisa cough that I've been contradicting myself right and left so I've gone back and edited some things. So I've gone back through all the previous chapters and fixed everything. For all those confused people who don't want to reread ten chapters looking for tiny differences, I'll tell you: there was no Skills or Rivercourt where Lucas used to live. Lucas lived in tree hill when he was a baby up to the time he was five and they moved. In all those years, Lucas never knew that he had lived that close to his father and Dan had never acknowledged him. I have not mentioned Keith yet and, while reading back I found that I actually said Keith died. Well he didn't. I haven't decided if or how I'm going to work him in. Karen's fiancé died. Dave has been around for forever. I changed his daughter's name from sam to Jenna after thinking of how Sam and Dave sounded (they were old singers if you didn't know). So no Haley either. She's in the same place that Keith is. I think that's about it. If anyone finds anything else freaky let me know.


	13. Somewhere Only We Know

Yay! I updated. But first…

_A lovely message from my infamous __**Author's Notes**_Okay. So here you go. It may be a little short but, not to fear. I have a deadline. I need to finish this story before the twenty fourth.

So **sweets**, I was thinking about this. You get to go to Italy, I take care of Henry (who misses you terribly), and I finish my story for you by the time you get back. I think this seems unfair so that better be one hot italian stud that you bring me back. Or at least something that sparkles…

But anyway. Enjoy the rush of chapters that will be coming.

And Karen's Café is in the town where David lives. And he's paying someone to keep it running because he refuses to go in there because he misses Karen.

Yes, Mama K is Karen

Just remember. I run on compliments and suggestions…

The house was in a secluded area with woods behind it. It was about average size, two stories yet much smaller than his own. It had started raining about a minute before he pulled into the driveway and it was now coming down steadily. He sat in the car for a minute. What would he say? It didn't eve look like anyone was home. There were no lights on in the house or car in the driveway. He got out of the car and prepared to walk up to the front door when a car turned into the driveway. He watched a man get out of the car and look him up and down. Dan did the same. He was about Dan's height, very muscular. He had brown hair and piercing brown eyes.

"Can I help you?" he asked. His voice was strong, fairly deep. Dan had to wonder who would win if the got in a fight.

"Are you David Ilack?" Dan asked, trying to sound like he could take him on. He had completely forgotten the entire reason he was there.

"Who wants to know?" _Well, that was a little shady._

"I'm Dan Scott," he remembered why he was in the middle of nowhere one hundred mile away from his home and put on a concerned father voice, trying not to loose all of his edge. "I'm looking for my son, Lucas. He took off this afternoon and social services said that he might have come down here."

"I knew this was going to happen sooner or later," he sighed. "Come on. They're probably inside." He picked up an open cardboard box overflowing with books and headed for the door. 'They're'?

"Who exactly is 'they' if you don't mind me asking?" Dan asked as they walked towards the house. Was this guy married? Did this guy have a thing with Karen? It would be a little strange for his teenage boy to runaway to some bachelor pushing middle-age.

"Well, Lucas and my daughter grew up together. Karen and I met when they first moved out here. Karen and I hit it off, and so did the kids."

"So you and Karen were…"

"No. Even though the kids constantly told us we acted like a married couple, we were always just really close friends. Practically family." He sounded a little sad. Like it was something great he used to have but lost. Maybe that was exactly right. They reached the front door and David put down the box. He got his key and opened the door.

"Hey, guys!" The only answer they got was a bark. A large German Shepard bounded down the stairs and started barking and growling furiously at Dan.

"Go lay down, Tricks." And with that, the dog turned and walked out of the room and jumped onto a couch in the next room.

"Maybe they went out," Dan suggested seeing that the dog was no longer a threat. The house was still completely dark.

"Nah. Jenna totaled her car last Tuesday." He flipped on a light in the kitchen and plopped the books down on a counter. The books must have been heavy because they landed with a thud. He walked over to the answering machine and Dan noticed that the little digital number '4' was flashing.

"Hey Dad," he heard a panicked girl's voice coming up from the little speaker. "Um, so I know you're supposed to be in meetings all day which is why you aren't answering your cell, but me and Luke went for a walk and we got lost and Luke fell and his leg is stuck underneath some fallen tree. Oh yeah, Luke is here Dad," she said as if she was just realizing that her father wasn't aware of it. "But it's getting dark and cold and I think it's gonna rain so please come whenever you get home. Okay, bye." It sounded like the poor girl had said the entire paragraph in less than thirty seconds.

"Shit!" was all he heard coming from the man standing next to him. He then turned and ran up the stairs muttering an 'I'll be right back.'

It couldn't have been two minutes later when he came barreling back down in jeans and a t-shirt. He strode into the kitchen and pulled out a flashlight. On his way back to the door, he threw on a jacket and grabbed two others.

"You coming?" were his only words as he walked out the door. Dan nodded, not knowing what he should do. He stuttered a 'yes' and followed him out the door. He walked in front of the man he had followed out when he saw him stop right before he closed the door. He seemed to be contemplating whether he should lock the door or not. "Tricks!" he yelled back into the dark house. Dan heard the feet of the dog hit the floor instantly, leaving her comfortable spot on the couch to be at her master's side.

**Walked across an empty land,  
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.  
I felt the earth beneath my feet,  
Sat by the river and it made me complete.  
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.  
**

They walked for about fifteen minutes into the woods without saying a word. All Dan could do was to follow this man and pray that he knew where he was going. They had veered off the path about five minutes ago and Dan was starting to get nervous. He was constantly flashing the flashlight back and forth as if he knew where they had been walking just not where they had stopped.

The dog stayed at the man's side the entire time. He remembered the time he had bought Nathan a dog. The damned thing bit everyone in the house and ran away every time someone opened the door. As he looked down at the dog, wet ears pushed back, coat dripping with the heavy raindrops that were continuously falling through the tall trees, he noticed that the dog's tail was wagging. The dog was excited. He trusted the man. He put complete faith into his master and would probably follow him to a cliff and jump off if the man commanded so. Maybe there was such a thing as loyalty.

They finally heard a girl scream "dad". She had probably seen the flashlight. The dog looked up expectantly at the man. The man made some sort of signal for the dog to go and she ran up to the girl and followed her as they ran up to the man together. The girl automatically jumped into her father's arms. She was on the verge of hysterics.

**I came across a fallen oak tree,  
I felt the branches of it looking at me  
Is this the place we used to love?  
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?**

They had a brief conversation regarding Lucas and her father made sure she put on the jacket he had brought for her, and before Dan knew it, they were off again. Lucas was lying on the ground, eyes closed, soaking wet. His foot was stuck underneath a log. He didn't look alive. Was this Dan's fault? What if he died? Wait. He wasn't really dying was he? He couldn't be. Dan was just being melodramatic. He had to admit though, Luke did look bad.

He stood back and watched as the man he had just met struggled, yet succeeded, in lifting the log off his son's foot. It wasn't long before the man had the young boy covered in the other jacket and was carrying him off towards the direction in which they came.

He carried Lucas with ease. It made Dan wonder how much the teen weighed. Had Dan ever actually seen him eat? Was Dan ever actually home?

Was this really just some man that the boy's mother had been best friends with? Was he really just the best friend's dad? Dan looked over at Lucas again. Barely conscious, soaking wet, so cold he was shivering, ankle probably broken. Still, he somehow looked almost happy. It wasn't an emotion Dan had ever seen on his son, so maybe he was confusing it with something else. He sure looked… something. There wasn't a word to describe it. The only emotion Dan could imagine a boy in Luke's position to be feeling was pain. It wasn't like he was deep-in-thought-thinking-about-something-happy. He looked like he could barely register the things going on around him. Yet, he somehow looked like he knew everything was all right. Dan looked over at the girl walking practically on top of her father. She was actually holding on to his jacket. When Dan tried to look past her worried expression, he also saw a sense of ease within her too.

****

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.  
So if you have a minute why don't we go,  
Talk about it somewhere only we know?  
This could be the end of everything.  
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know,  
Somewhere only we know.

Trust. That was what it was. They trusted this man. They knew that everything was going to be all right because he came to the rescue.

The walk back to the house seemed shorter than the one out. It may have had something to do with the fact that they were all practically speed walking. Not only was the rain not stopping, it was coming down harder. As the streaks of lightning lit up the sky brighter and brighter, the thunder got louder and louder. It was almost as if the storm were following them.

As soon as the pushed through the door, David rushed Luke over to the couch. Dan simply sat there while the other man checked his son's foot and helped him up the stairs to change and get some sleep. Shouldn't Dan be doing those things? Shouldn't it be the father who takes care of the son? Not some random guy taking care of the son?

He had to keep reminding himself that this was not some random guy to Lucas. Dan was never around when the boy was growing up. He was probably a surrogate father to him. Karen never had gotten remarried. Had she? The things Dan didn't know about his son's life made his head spin.

While David was upstairs helping Lucas to bed, Dan was left alone with the daughter. He couldn't remember her name to save his life. It wasn't like they had been formally introduced or anything, but he felt odd having her dad know more about his son than the boy probably knew about himself and he not even know the name of his daughter.

Dan was sitting on the couch waiting for David to return. He was just sitting there minding his own business, and she was sitting on the other end of the couch, staring at him. Dan was beginning to get pissed off. What right does she have staring at him? Why would she star at him? She was just a sweet, little innocent girl and he was just a concerned father.

"You're a real jerk off. You know that?" Oh-so sweet and innocent. What could she be upset about? Sure his intentions weren't the greatest coming out here, but his curiosity overthrew his selfishness. That, and seeing his son hurt had more of an effect on him that he would have thought. But Luke was safe now. Which meant that Dan could concentrate on finding out more about what had happened to Karen. And Lucas.

"Excuse me?" Dan was utterly startled by that comment.

"You heard me." She looked disgusted by his presence. It was weird getting a look like that from someone that looked like her. "Do you have any idea what will happen to you if my dad finds out what you did?"

What could she be talking about? Probably the way he treated his eldest while he was drunk. He didn't remember much of it. But he did remember a lot of yelling. And then he hit him. Would Luke tell on him? David would probably label him off as some abusive alcoholic. Dan couldn't have that. He was in the process of debating on whether his son would say anything or not when David walked back into the room.

"Jenna, go take a shower." The voice came from the stairwell. It was David.

Jenna didn't even make a move to get up. She just sat there. Eyes boring into Dan's skull.

"Is she bothering you? Come on, Jen. Leave the nice man alone," he continued. Apparently Jenna wasn't going to stand for that kind of talk, even if it was obviously said in a somewhat kidding tone. She opened her mouth to start blabbing. Dan could tell she was just waiting for an excuse to spill his slip-up to her father. Her exceptionally strong-looking father.

"It's all right, David." He looked over at her, expecting to see an upset face because he ruined her chance. Instead of looking pissed off or pouty, it looked like he had just refueled her fury.

"_Don't _call him that." If Nathan would have said anything with that tone of voice, Dan would have blurted out 'Can you say anti-Christ?' But he retained it seeing as she looked like she was about to pounce on him. "Only Mama K was allowed to call him that. Her and Lucas." Mama K? Karen?

"Oh, what about step-mommy Ashley? Don't tell me you've already forgotten her," the man whose name Dan was not allowed to say interjected as he leaned against the couch. Whoever Ashley was or whatever he was talking about, seemed to work some kind of magic over Jenna.

"Just because you got drunk that one night in Reno does not mean she was my step-mother," she said in a laughing voice. This was one bipolar chick.

"Come on. Go take a shower before you catch hypothermia. She sighed as if she had just been asked to run across the country, but got up and headed towards the stairs. Just before disappearing from view, she gave Dan one last death glare.

**  
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.  
So, tell me when you gonna let me in,  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.  
SO if you have a minute why don't we go,  
talk about it somewhere only we know?  
This could be the end of everything.  
So why don't we go, so why don't we go,**

"I actually go by DJ. Oh, and I apologize right now for whatever she said," he laughed.

"What makes you think she said anything?" Did Lucas tell him?

"I know my baby girl," he sighed. "She's very… protective."

"So, uh, her and Lucas are really close, huh?" What was the best way to ease into a conversation about the woman you abandoned while she was carrying your child with her best friend?

"Yeah. Met the first day of kindergarten and totally hit it off. They eventually dragged Karen and me together too.

"Wow. So how was Karen." He chose his words carefully. Apparently DJ didn't notice.

"She was great. Usually pretty happy. Money got pretty tight every once in a while. She and Lucas moved in and out of here for a few years. But other then that, there wasn't much going on." He said the last part with his head down. God, he must miss her.

"How have things been going between you and Luke?" Obvious change of subject.

"Well, not too great actually." Might as well use the change of subject to get some advice. "I think he's still a little depressed about the accident." Of course he's still depressed about his dead mother. And of course a kind and caring father would notice. "I've been working a lot lately too so I don't think that helps." Might as well not tell all lies.

"It probably has a lot to do with the change in environment. Taken away from everything and thrown into completely new. Have the two of you talked much?" It completely shocked Dan that not one word that came out of DJ's mouth was accusing. This must be some guy…

"Not much. I can't really seem to get through to him." Of course Lucas' loving father has been trying to get through to him. Nothing works.

****

This could be the end of everything.  
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know,  
Somewhere only we know  
Somewhere only we know.

"I think that if the two of you spent some time together somewhere where he's comfortable, he might feel more comfortable when it's just the two of you. You know what? It doesn't look like the rain's gonna let up anytime soon. Why don't you spend the night here?"

**Author's Note: **And now who the hell is going to review? My sweets is in Italy! Please review to cure my loneliness.


	14. 39

So the fire is almost out and there's nothing left to burn  
I've run right out of thoughts and I've run right out of words  
As I used them up, I used them up...

After a long and draining day, Lucas finally curled up under the covers of the bed he used to sleep in. He missed his bed. Well, technically it wasn't his real bed, but this was his home away from home for God's sake! From time to time, it was his real home.

Like after his mom lost her job for the first time. She couldn't find another job anywhere. At first, Lucas thought it was cool. He got to hang out with his mom all day. But then the phone calls started. It seemed like every five minutes someone called and asked for his mom. Every time he handed the phone to his mom she got a horrible look on her face. She would look worried and scared and sad all at the same time. And she would always tell Lucas to leave the room before she started talking.

After a while, she told him not to answer the phone. She wouldn't answer it either. The only time they would pick up the phone was when they heard David's voice come over the answering machine telling them to pick up.

Months went by and everything just got worse. Lucas got really scared. Then he and his mom moved in with David and Jenna. When his mom "got back on her feet", they moved back out. Not into the same house, but into a small apartment. Then everything just started all over again and they moved back in with David. The viscous cycle repeated itself for almost two years before David bought the café. That was when everything got better.

****

Yeah the fire is almost cold and there's nothing left to burn  
I've run right out of feeling and I've run right out of world  
And everything I promised, and everything I tried  
Yeah everything I ever did I used to feed the fire  


He missed his mom. He missed her every day. He was always thinking of how she would want him to act. What would she say? What would she want him to do?

He remembered a time when he was probably eight. He had gone with his mom to pick up David from the university where he worked. Before they went in to where his office was, he noticed a girl sitting across the street on the curb, crying. There was a cross and a bunch of flowers next to her. When Lucas got up to David's office, he asked the older man about it. David told him that there had been a car crash about three weeks ago. It was a student at the university. She fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into the tree. Dead on impact. He said that every night, a crowd of her friends would stand there. They would cry. Hug each other. Just stand there and remember her. David said that he saw them every day when he left work.

After about a week, the crowd thinned out a little. Not much, but enough to notice. Another week went by and the crowd turned into a few people, huddling next to the curb, crying. By the time Lucas and Karen came to pick up David, even the huddle of people no longer stood there. What was once a crowd of people, standing and crying in the memory of a beloved friend, was now one girl, the dead girl's best friend. It was the third night that the girl sat out there alone, crying. Remembering.

At the time, Lucas could not understand it. Why would they stand there? Hoe could one person mean that much to so many people? If that one person meant that much to that many people, how come there was only one person who wanted to remember them?

Now Lucas understood. He knew the answer to all of those question, Except the last one. At first, it seemed like everyone remembered his mother. She was always on everyone's mind, just like she was always on Luke's. Now, nobody seemed to think about her. Nobody even seemed to remember her. Lucas now knew how that one girl felt. He was the only one who remembered his mother. He had to keep her memory alive. If he couldn't keep her memory alive, then she really was gone.

**  
I used to feed the fire  
I used to feed the fire  
I used to feed the fire  
But the fire is almost out is almost out...  
And there's nothing left to burn  
No there's nothing left to burn  
Not even this...**

David peaked into the dark room to see Lucas laying on his side, facing the wall. He knew the boy was not sleeping. Whenever Lucas was really asleep, he twitched. There was a medical name for it. Something about the brain thinking that the body is dying so it sends a message to the muscles. He also knew that Lucas would pretend to be sleeping. He wasn't going to want to talk about his father.

"How's your leg feeling?" No response. "Come on, Luke. I know your not really sleeping." He heard a Lucas sigh without rolling over.

"How do you always know that I'm not sleeping?" He asked, still not turning over.

David had to laugh. "Now why would I tell you that? Then I'd never have the upper hand. So what's going on?" Lucas didn't know how to answer. He wasn't sure what to tell David. He wanted to talk about his mom. They had loved each other. How could even he forget about her?

"How's your leg feeling?" David resorted to asking again as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He turned the lamp on the table next to the bed on and reached for the foot. He poked around it a little bit while Lucas gasped in agony. It was still swollen. He'd have to go to the doctor. But not now. In the morning. When the roads have cleared up. When the tension between everyone and his surrogate son was resolved.

"Don't you ever miss her?" Lucas finally blurted out.

"Your mom? Of course I miss her! Every day!" David was stunned by the question. How could Lucas think that he didn't miss Karen?

"Nobody ever talks about her anymore. Nobody cares. Everyone's just forgetting her! They're all just going around like she never even existed!" Seeing Lucas like that just killed David. The boy held one knee to his chest while the other lay swollen out in front of him, tears in his eyes. Had that really been what the boy thought? Had he really thought that everyone had just forgotten about his mother?

"Nobody has forgotten her, Luke."

"Yes they have! Don't you remember telling me that story about the girl who was in the car accident? When she first died, tons of people stood around where she died every night. Then they all started to forget about her! Nobody came anymore but her best friend. Even then she stopped. Everybody just forgot about her. Now all that's left is a cross next to the tree she crashed into!" It took Dave a while to remember what he was talking about. But then he remembered it clearly. It had probably been one of the saddest things he had ever seen.

"But those people didn't forgot that girl. They had just moved on. Everyone needs to move on. You can't sit still or go back in time. The world keeps moving. And if you don't move on with it, eventually you'll get too far behind to catch up. You can't stop your life just because your mother is gone. You know she wouldn't have wanted it."

That was all Lucas could take before he broke down. He started sobbing. He didn't deserve to feel like that. All David could do was pull him into his arms.

It took all of about five minutes for Lucas to pass out. It had been a long day. It was late. David thought about easing the boy out of his arms so he could sleep in his own bed. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. After another few minutes, he finally turned out the light, and threw a pillow behind his head. It wasn't just a long day for Lucas, and David was soon out too.

**  
And the fire is almost dead and there's nothing left to burn  
I've finished everything...  
And all the things I promised, and all the things I tried  
Yeah all the things I ever dreamed I used to feed the fire**

When Dan woke up, he found David in the kitchen, making pancakes. "So you talked to him?" Dan asked.

"Yeah. He's going to be all right." Dan couldn't help but notice a damp spot on the shoulder of DJ's shirt. Lucas had cried. How long had he held those tears in? Dan should have been there for him. It wasn't like he would have known what to say. DJ did. Maybe Lucas should stay with DJ. He already had a life here. He was happy here.

"Do you think Lucas should stay here with you?" It was a question. Maybe Dan was wrong. He obviously didn't know squat about his son. DJ did. DJ would know what to do.

"No. I would love to have him come live here and I really miss the kid, but I think he belongs with you. If you'll take him, I mean." _If? _Of course he would. Lucas was his son. But what kind of job would Dan do with the kid? Obviously he hasn't done much good so far. What's to say he won't screw up again?

**  
I used to feed the fire  
I used to feed the fire  
I used to feed the fire  
But the fire is almost out...**

Over breakfast the next morning, they all discussed what would happen to Lucas. He was going to go back with Dan. It was for the best. Dan was going to be a better father. Not only to Lucas, but to Nathan too. They both deserved a better father and Dan was going to give that to them. He was glad that he was going to get Lucas back. Whatever he and DJ had talked about, had definitely changed Lucas.

He was more open now. He was happy. And not just happy to be around the people he loved, but just happy in general. Like someone that just discovered antidepressants. He made conversation with Dan. He still seemed to just over the subject of his mother though. It was probably for the better. Dan had treated her like crap. Telling Lucas that he had treated his mother like crap was definitely not going to help things. Maybe Lucas knew that Dan hadn't treated her right. Maybe that was the reason he avoided talking about her. Maybe Dan would find out one day.

They laughed and ate and talked and ate some more. It was the first time in a long time that Dan had actually enjoyed himself. DJ had given him some tips on how to deal with Lucas too. He was going to be all right.

_They _were going to be all right.

After breakfast, Dan would drive him to a doctor to have his foot checked out. Then they would return home. Dan's home. Luke's home.

****

Half my life I've been here  
Half my life in flames  
Using all I ever had to keep the fire ablaze  
To keep the fire ablaze  
To keep the fire ablaze  
To keep the fire ablaze...

He had to go home with Dan. He had to. It was where he belonged. He had known David and Jenna for over half of his life, now he was going to leave them. Not for good though. He could still come and visit anytime he wanted. He could still call David up any time he wanted to talk about his mom. They weren't leaving him like his mom did.

**  
But there's nothing left to burn  
No there's nothing left to burn  
And the fire is almost out  
The fire is almost out  
Yeah the fire is almost out  
Almost out, almost out  
Almost out, almost out…**

As he walked out to the car with Dan, he had to constantly tell himself that it was right. This was what his mom would have wanted.

He was going to be happy in Tree Hill. He had friends. He would make more. He was on the basketball team. He had a brother. Dan had agreed to be around more. Deb would probably be around more to. He would have a real family. He could be normal. Screw normal. He could be rich!

It wasn't even the having-more-money-than-you-need thing that appealed to him. It was just having enough. His life would be good with his new-found father.

He really did miss his mom. He would always remember her. But now he realized that just because he wasn't consciously thinking of her every second, she would always be floating around in his head. Telling him which way to go. Leading him in the right direction. And this was the right direction.

**  
And there's nothing left to burn**

**Last note from me: **So it's 12:44 AM, Wednesday, July 5, 2007. Forty-four minutes behind. Not bad for me. Oh well. I'm sure I'll get better as I get older… So how'd you guys like it? It's done. But I guess you can say that I cheated. I think I'm going to continue with this story. Like a sequel. But first, I wanna know what you guys thought about this one. Be cruel! Remember! I made you guys sit around and wait for months (months!) before I'd post a new chapter! Now be honest. How did it flow. I suck at endings so how was this one? Anything else that didn't make sense? I just think I left a lot of things unanswered because I had stuff in my head that I didn't put on… computer screen? Oh well. Let me know.

Okay so maybe that wasn't the last note… 

So credit due to Mike for the uber-sad story about the car accident. True story. Doesn't that stuff just suck? And he also told me that it is a fact that even if someone is dead, sometimes their nerves and muscles and stuff aren't yet so they can move! BAM! The widow gets up to make the ulegy about her husband of seventy two years and in the midst of her weeping, dead hubby decides he's not done and sits up in the casket. Morbid? Yes. But come on! Hilarious! Look for that one in one of my future stories…

So this song is 39 by The cure

The last song was by Keane in case I don't get a chance to put it in that chapter.

If you enjoy my uber-sad (uber is my new word if you haven't noticed) here's some you should check out…

Here You Me Jimmy Eat World

World Spins Madly On The Weepies

He Heart Of Life John Mayor

Asleep The Smiths (still can't listen to this song without crying)

Meet You There Simple Plan

And many more. I gots millions of em. Let me know if you want more


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